This morning I was getting ready to take a shower and when I got to my nasty shower (more on that later) I discovered something that I don't ever want to find in my shower or, for that fact, anywhere in my home! Something I have been deathly afraid of pretty much my whole life! A spider! A huge, nasty, big-butted (I sometimes create words) spider! Luckily it was already dead. Many thoughts started running through my head. "
Where did he come from?! Is my shower so nasty that it kills spiders the instant they crawl into it?! What am I going to do?!"
After sitting there for a bit I decided I would just wash the spider down the drain. I don't have a normal shower drain. You see, my shower is homemade. Constructed by someone who didn't put much thought into what they were doing, I might add. Someone who didn't want a nice, spa-like shower. The drain is a normal basement over-flow drain. It has pretty big holes. I figured the spider would easily wash down the drain. I was wrong.
Plan A was a failure so it was time for me to move on to Plan B. First I had to come up with a Plan B. I was so sure Plan A would work! Dang it! Okay, slowly Plan B is started coming together in my head. Aha! I decided it would be best to wake Pacen a whole half-hour before he normally wakes up so he could take care of the spider for me. Perfect! So I run back upstairs to get my knight in shining armor, knowing he is not going to be happy about this whole ordeal.
"Baby, I need you to do me a favor.", I say in my sweetest, most loving voice. :)
He stretches, yawns, and says,
"What is it Mama?" (Yes, he calls me Mama and I love, love, love it!)
"There's a spider in the shower. Can you please get it for me?"
*Big Sigh* "Give me a minute."
So I wait...but not for very long cause I don't want the spider to miraculously come back to life and get me (it could happen...anything is possible). As we're walking downstairs I look at Pacen just as he runs his fingers through his hair in a rather frustrated manner with a rather frustrated look on his face. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but what else was I suppose to do?!
"Where is it Mama?"
I point towards the shower and after he finally focuses in on it he says in a very matter-of-fact tone, "
I'm NOT picking that thing up!"
"Well what are we going to do?! I can't pick it up either!"
After a little thought he says,
"We could vacuum it up. Go get the vacuum."
My son is so smart! Why didn't I think of the vacuum? So now we're on Plan C. I get the vacuum and hand him the hose (I can't touch anything that is touching a spider...it's a thing).
"Okay, turn it on!"
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (my very loud vacuum sound)
After just a second or two he screams,
"TURN IT OFF!"
"NO! WHAT IF IT'S NOT IN THE BAG YET?!"
"IT'S IN THE BAG MOM!" Oh my, he called me "Mom", he must be serious.
I turn off the vacuum, he complains about how loud it is, and then goes back upstairs. He just left me! With the vacuum that has a large spider in it! How could he do that to me?! Just to make sure the spider actually did make it to the bad I turn the vacuum back on for 30 seconds or so. Okay, I think it's safe now. I take a very fast shower...the whole time looking up, down, side-to-side, and everywhere for more spiders.
*Shudder* I HATE spiders!
I do have to say, though, that I am much better about dealing with spiders than I used to be. When I lived in Harrison I had to face spiders a lot as I lived in a trailer house and trailer houses are so easy for mice and spiders to break in to. I would call my friend, Norm, who lived in Crawford. He would answer the phone to someone crying and hyper-ventilating. He always knew it was me and he always knew what was wrong.
"Brooke, it's not going to get you."
Between gasps for air and sobs, "
Yes...it...is! It's...so...BIG...Norm!"
"Breathe Brooke. You'll be okay."
"No...I...won't!"
"Brooke, get a shoe and throw it at the spider."
"I...can't! If...I...go...get...a...shoe...it'll...crawl...away...and...I...won't...know...where...it...is...and...it'll...get...me...while...I...sleep!"
"No it won't, Brooke. Now go get a shoe."
"Okay."
"You got a shoe now?"
"Yes."
"Throw it at the spider."
"I...can't...Norm!"
"Yes you can, Brooke."
It usually took Norm about a half-hour or so to get me to the point where I would actually throw the shoe at the spider. More times than not I missed and the spider took off like a flash. I would then start freaking out again, jumping around the room I was in, and looking all around me like the spider was going to jump from some dark corner and attack me. It would then take Norm another half-hour or so to calm me down enough that we could both go on with our lives. I'm so glad Norm was always there for me in my time of need...even if it was just on the phone. Other people were not as patient as he was. My dad once told me I need psychiatric help for my arachnophobia. Wow Dad. Kind of harsh.
Quote time! The quote for this blog comes from the movie
Arachnophobia, which my cousin forced me to watch when I was 10 or 11. He seriously made me sit on my hands and he held my eyelids open. Mean! Very mean! Maybe that was his way of helping me get over my fear. It didn't work.
Dr. Ross Jennings:
Chris, I'm scared to death.
Collins:
Yeah, we all are, but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter that enables us to deal with them.
Dr. Ross Jennings:
I don't think I have that particular neurotransmitter.
I'm with you Dr. Jennings! I too do not have that particular neurotransmitter!